


We Are Unstoppable, We Are Unbreakable, We Are Invincible Together (And I Feel Alive With You)

by Irissswests



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, CHAPTER 7 IS RATED M, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Romance, post-ep, smut and sexual content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8228680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irissswests/pseuds/Irissswests
Summary: A series of Westallen one-shots based on each episode of season 3. There may be more than one for each episode. Tags will be added. Expect fluff, angst, romance, etc.Chapter 7:"'I need to feel alive," her lips brush against his as she speaks, "make me feel alive." Because he's the only one who can, he's the only the one who makes her feel alive."Post 3x11 smut. Iris struggles with wanting to leave a mark on the world and the fact that she could've died and she needs Barry's help to feel alive.Rated M





	1. It's Easy to Fall in Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> This is from FP's Iris' POV from when Wally is injured to the end of the episode. I added a couple of moments that weren't in the show, and changed the timing of same things as I usually do. Title of this chapter taken from the song The John Wayne by Little Green Cars.
> 
> Title for this whole "story" is taken from Alive by Augustana.

She had blocked everything out the moment Wally hit the ground. She couldn't allow herself to even think about losing her brother. Up until now he was all she had. She knew he risked his life on a daily basis being The Flash, but he healed quickly. He always got better. And now he wasn't. Not after having a pipe shoved through his body.

And now Barry was in her life. He had only been in her life for a few days and yet she felt like she had known him forever. She wasn't mad that he wasn't from _here._ That didn't matter to her, because she felt whole with him in her life. But deep down she knew it couldn't last. Something was wrong with him. She had a feeling he wouldn't be able to stay.

They enter the room and she turns her head to see Barry and her dad supporting Wally. She doesn't process the fact that her dad is here right now she just rushes over to help them get Wally to a bed. Her dad hangs back as she goes to Wally's side taking one of his hands in hers holding it tightly. She meets Barry's eyes and she can see how sorry he is.

Dr. Snow comes over to take a look at her brother and Barry places a gentle hand on the small of her back and leads her out of the room. She follows him without a word avoiding looking at her father as they pass him. She knows that he saved Barry and Wally tonight and she knows she'll have to talk to him soon, and she will, she just can't right now.

She looks up at Barry and the tears that have been threatening to escape finally break free and she finds herself in his arms face buried in the red leather of his suit. And he holds her rubbing his cheek against her hair and speaking in a slow, low voice. Comforting her. And with a start she realizes she's never had this before. Someone to hold her, someone to comfort her, someone to make it better. She's always had to rely on herself. A sob passes through her lips and she holds tighter to Barry because she knows this is her only chance to have this.

With a sniff she draws back still keeping her arms around him, not quite ready to let go of him just yet. He looks down at her.

_Because this is what loves feels like._

She knows it. She loves this man and she barely knows him and yet somehow that doesn't matter. She's always been a practical person. Thinking about the consequences before making a decision. Never jumping into anything before thinking it through first. Well except maybe when it comes to her journalism. But this right here, she doesn't care about the consequences even though it's going to end with a broken heart.

He loves her too.

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes. "I'm sorry I let Wally get hurt, I'm sorry I couldn't get him out of there. I would-"

"Shh," she cuts him off. "It's okay, I know you did everything you could." She's silent for a moment and swallows the lump in her throat before saying her next words. "You have to leave don't you? Go back to where you're from?"

He opens his mouth, but freezes, closing his eyes briefly before slowly nodding. "Yeah I do. I'm losing my memories. I have to fix the mess I've made."

She nods. "Okay."

"I don't want to. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave my parents. This life is everything I've ever wanted."

He's everything she's ever wanted. But she doesn't say that out loud. She doesn't want to make this harder for him. Because as much as she wants him to stay, she understands. This isn't his life. There's another Iris out there waiting for him.

"Wally's not getting better is he?" she whispers.

He shakes his head sadly. "No."

She nods. "Okay. What do you need to do to fix this?"

His eyes search her face clearly that is not what he was expecting her to say. But he recovers quickly and sighs. "First, I need to see my parents, and then- that's not important at the moment. Will you go with me?"

"To see your parents?" She's a little confused.

"Yeah. I-I uh I told them about you. And I want them-my mom to meet you before-" he stops his voice full of emotion.

"I'd love to meet them," she tells him softly.

"Thank you." And then he leans down presses a kiss to her forehead. He lingers there for a minute breathing deeply and she closes her eyes and does her best to hang on to this moment.

* * *

They walk to his parents house. Hand in hand. Like it's normal for them. And god she wishes it could be and she knows he does too. As they walk she asks him to tell her about his life, because she wants to know. She wants to know his story, _their_ story.

So she listens as he tells her from the beginning. About his mother's murder, about living with his Iris and Joe. And it tugs at her heart to know that somewhere she and her father have a loving relationship. She wishes she could have that, but there's too much- no not thinking about that right now. He tells her about becoming The Flash and learning to use his powers. He tells her about the metahumans he went up against. He tells her everything. But he doesn't mention her. She wonders if he's purposefully leaving that out to spare her feelings.

"Barry," she says after he's been quiet for a few moments. "Tell me about her. Your Iris."

And she doesn't miss the way his face splits into a big grin. And he launches into a story about how they first met. And by the end she can tell how much he loves his Iris. But then his face falls and she squeezes his hand in encouragement for him to continue. "We were ready to take the next step. Finally. But Zoom killed my dad and I-I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt so empty inside and I didn't think anything could make it better. We sat on the porch and she told me she loved me, that she would wait for me to do whatever I needed to. Something tells me she wouldn't be so happy if she knew what I was planning. But we kissed and then I left. I saved my mother. And here we are. I thought I could finally be happy. But I guess I was wrong. I'm so sorry I put you through this, I never thought it would end this way. I thought we could-"

He stops walking and turns to face her and that's when she realizes they are in front of a house that must be his.

She smiles at him. "These last few days have been, I don't know how to explain it but I'm so incredibly thankful and happy that I met you. I wouldn't give it up for anything." She stands on her toes and kisses him on the cheek.

"Ready to meet the parents?" he asks with a grin. Obviously her words were exactly what he needed to hear.

"Let's go."

* * *

 

The last part of their journey is to an abandoned warehouse. They walked part of the way and then he sped them the rest even with his memory at risk. He told her about Eobard Thawne. And what he was going to ask.

Outside she stops knowing she won't have much time to tell him this. "I just wanted to say, that I- your Iris is lucky to have you. And I know how much you love her, so don't- don't hide from her let her help you. Let her love you. Because I barely know you and I think I- if she loves you half as much as I do she'll forgive you. You two have been through too much to just give up now."

He nods at her. "Okay."

Together they go in.

And she watches him get weaker and she holds tight to his hand giving him all the strength that she has. He squeezes hers in a death grip when he asks Thawne to kill his mother again and she can't imagine how hard that must be especially now that he's had a life with both parents and knows he's going back to one without either of them.

It's time to say goodbye and their fingers are still laced together. He tells her she won't remember any of this and he looks guilty. But she just smiles. It's better this way. She won't remember this, won't remember this feeling of being loved, she won't have the heartbreak of losing him. And Wally will be okay. She knows that his memories but also Wally pushed him to this decision.

She kisses him soft and gentle. It's just the briefest touch of their lips together. She won't remember it either and that's okay with her but he will and she's okay with that too.

_I'll seen you soon._

He squeezes her hand one more time and then he's gone.

_Goodbye Barry Allen._


	2. You're Only as Good as Your Last Mistake (You Can Run, and You Run, and You Run, but You'll Never Escape)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Wally and Joe go upstairs Barry is left alone with his thoughts about what he's done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just what I think Barry might be thinking at the end of 3x01. And of course it's angsty. Chapter title from the song Last Mistake by Augustana. 
> 
> I apologize if there are any mistakes I didn't catch. If there are I'll be sure to fix them.

He's not sure how long he sits there once Wally heads up the stairs. Head in his hands, thoughts running a mile a minute. Just trying to process what the hell is going on. And how badly he fucked up. Because yes, he's well aware that he majorly fucked up. Not just now, but when he decided that he was going to save his mother, when he left Iris after kissing her on the porch.

There are tears running down his face, and he's completely unaware of them. All he can think is how much of a mistake he made. How much he screwed things. How screwed up _he_ is. And really he knows he has always been a little screwed up, but he's always tried to put a smile on his face and just be happy. That was harder than he thought it would be. There were so many times he was so, so close to finally being happy only for it to be ripped away from him. It was just one hit after another. And he decided to do something about it. And for three months he was _happy._ So fucking happy with both of his parents and Iris.

He sighs loudly scrubbing his hands over his face. He had been losing his memories, losing his memories of Iris, of Cisco, and other things. He knew he had to fix it. But seeing Wally lying on the bed, dying, and not healing like he should have been reaffirmed it. He needed to fix it. He needed Thawne to kill his mother again.

He had everything he wanted, but he knew it wasn't right. And deep down he didn't want to lose his memories, didn't want to replace the with new ones no matter how good they were. He briefly wonders what would have happened if he had the courage to ask Iris out sooner.

_Iris._

It had been perfect. She had been perfect. Understanding. And maybe just maybe in love with him too. But now there's a tightness in his chest. Because he thinks of _his_ Iris. The one he left behind. The one he kissed on the porch and ran away from. He changed something. Something wasn't right.

He remembers the way Joe's face instantly changed, the way he shut down and spoke harshly. And he for the life of him couldn't figure out what was going on. It should have been the same. Everyone should have been in the living room. Even Wally looked tense. And god he had been so happy to see Wally alive and well that for a moment he didn't notice Iris' absence, which is ridiculous because he always notices her. Always knows when she's there, always knows when she's not there. But then he felt her absence. Where the hell was she?

Joe and Iris not speaking? That was impossible. They were so incredibly close. They were everything a family should be. It seemed like everything he knew, everything he believed in was being turned upside down. He couldn't imagine a world where Joe and Iris weren't close. Except Earth-2, except Flashpoint, he reminds himself. It's possible. He made it possible.

All of the sudden that tightness in his chest becomes too much, it feels like someone's hand is squeezing his lungs and  his breaths are coming in rushed bursts and he can't breathe. It feels like the walls are closing in on him. He runs himself out to the porch and tries to breathe in the fresh air. Bent over he gulps in the cool night air and eventually his breathing returns to normal as he slumps against the porch railing.

He closes his eyes and he can still remember the gentle press of her lips against his. The soft tone of her voice telling him she loves him, telling him she'll wait for him to do whatever he has to do. Would she approve of what he had done? Would she have said that if she knew what he was planning on doing? Would she have been so understanding? He doesn't know. And he won't know. Because he's sure she doesn't remember that conversation.

It's then that he wonders how much she remembers. If she still loves him. How much did he change? How much is still the same? Is anything the same?

He looks out on the darkened street all of the sudden his pain, his anger, his sadness turns into determination. He's going to make this right. He's going to fix this. He doesn't know how. Doesn't know if it's even possible, but he has to try. Because this is no longer about him and his happiness. This is about Iris and Joe, his family, their lives that he ruined because he was being selfish. He was going to help them make up, help them become a family again. They were now his priority. And maybe if he can make the West Family happy again, then maybe it will be enough to make _him_ happy.

"I'm going to make this right," he vows out loud.


	3. Say Something, Something Like You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the porch scene at the end of 3x02. There is talking and more kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just wanted to write something that continued the porch scene, because I love porch scenes. I figured Barry and Iris needed to have some kind of talk and this happened. 
> 
> Title from Believe by Mumford and Sons

They break apart and she watches him, eyes still closed for a brief moment before he gives a little nod, unable to help himself, grinning like an idiot. His hand is still on her thigh and it's so warm she can feel it through her jeans. At first she had been a little surprised when he put it there but she saw his intention clear in his eyes. But now she wants it to stay there and she can't help but wonder what it would be like to have his hands in other places.

She ducks her head down for a moment all of the sudden shy. This is still new for her. This thing between them. And now that she knows that everything she's known for the last year is _wrong_ that it's been a lie, that it shouldn't be this way. She doesn't know exactly what to feel. It'll take some time. There's a part of her that's afraid that Barry might do it again and she doesn't think that will go away. But she knows it's not worth giving up on them, it will take time and a lot of talking. But what she does know is that she loves Barry. Regardless of his stupid mistake.

He's silent and when she raises her eyes to meet him that happiness from moments ago is gone replaced by guilt and sadness. She reaches her hand out to his knee to get his attention.

"Barry," she says gently. "What is it?"

He sighs deeply resting his head back against the porch railing but not before picking her hand up off his leg and holding it in his, his fingers absentmindedly tracing along her palm and fingers. It tickles slightly bit there's also something so tender about the gesture that it makes her heart ache. 

"I'm so sorry," he whispers his voice catching in his throat. "I'm sorry that I fucked everything up. That I lied to you. That because of me, all these things, all these great thing we're taken from the people I care about because I made a selfish decision." He stops for a moment and closes his eyes.

She stays silent and waits patiently. His fingers have stopped their movements against her hand so she takes the opportunity to easily slip her fingers between his and give them an encouraging squeeze. It seems to do the trick because he opens his eye and gives her a half smile.

"That night that I went back in time. We sat here on the porch like this. And I felt so broken like nothing would make it better. And you, you were amazing. so understanding you told me to do whatever I needed to do and that you would wait for me." He hangs his head. "And I thought going back to save my mom was the only option the only way I could be happy. I left _you_ and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. And then I come back and everything's changed. I did that because I was selfish. We kissed that night. And god, Iris-" Again he cuts himself off and she knows he needs to get through this, to get all of this off his chest.

"And yesterday when we were talking in the hallway and you said- and I left, I was going to try and fix it again. I was going to go back and try to fix what I had done. But then I-well that's a story for another time. But the point is I could have fucked things up even more. Ruined things more than they already are. I'm so sorry, Iris."

He's looking at her with sad eyes like he thinks she's not going to forgive him, like he's not good enough for her and it breaks her heart. Yes, he made a mistake, a huge one, but now that he's explained it to her, she understands. He thought he made the right choice, he was emotional and had just suffered a major loss. No she doesn't blame, no she doesn't hate him.

She sits up straighter and looks him square in the eyes and speaks firmly.

"Barry, listen to me because I'm only going to say this once. I know how sorry you are. I can see it on your face. Things are what they are okay? I'm not going anywhere, we can deal with the fallout together. Okay?" He nods slowly. "Yes, you screwed up. But that doesn't matter. Am I upset? Yeah I am. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you and I-"

"Wait," he stops her suddenly with her hope filled eyes. "What did you just say? Did you just- say that again, please, Iris."

"I love you, Barry."

And she holds her breath waiting for his reaction. Because she just now realizes how much she needs him to say it, needs to hear it. To reassure her. She hates that she's feeling this insecure despite her earlier words to him that they would always find each other and she doesn't need to know about Flashpoint Iris. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't the least bit curious. Cause really, Barry saves his mom and lived with his parents he had everything he wanted. Surely he had Iris too. So why had he come back, back to her? Was she worth it? Did he really want her? Or was she second choice to the perfect life he could have had?

But then while she's lost in her self conscious bitter thoughts his face breaks out into a grin and she feels some of those insecurities disappear, but there's still a lingering feeling of doubt.

"You have no idea how- God, I love you too, Iris." And then almost as if he senses her thoughts and maybe he does. Maybe her doubts are clear on her face. He speaks again in a soft but sincere voice. "I love _you_ Iris and I always will."

And she grins back. Because it's her she realizes it's always been her and it will always be her. And okay, she's ready now, she's ready for whatever comes their way. She's ready for them to be a _them._ For them to truly be together now.

"Just promise me something."

"Anything."

"No more time travel okay?"

He nods. "Okay."

But his eyes drift down towards his lap. "What?" she asks.

"I just-how can I make this up to you? Please just tell me? Because I don't want to screw this up. I can't lose you Iris. I-"

Her hand covers his cheek as she leans closer to him and softly kisses his mouth effectively shutting him up. She could get used to that. She pulls back and notices the way he leans in after her, seeking her lips out again. She rests her forehead against his.

"Barry, I can think of a couple ways you can make this up to me," she says with a sly grin her lips almost brushing against his. He swallows and she knows she has his attention has him right where she wants him. And she loves it.

"What?" he breathes out.

"What do you think?"

Thankfully it doesn't take him long to get the hint. Thank god. Because then he's kissing her. At first almost hesitantly nothing like the kiss earlier. Like now he's not quite sure how much he can kiss her, or of what she wants him to do. So as he brushes his lips against hers she presses back firmly. And he doesn't take long before he's kissing her much more confidently and her eyes have fallen shut and her senses are filled with Barry.

They kiss slowly and deeply, exploring each others mouths, learning how to kiss each other. Her hands slip into his hair angling his mouth against hers so she can trace the seam of his lips with her tongue. He obliges quickly and eagerly, opening up to her and she can't help the quiet moan that escapes her. His hands find her waist bringing her closer to her him to the point that she's almost sitting on his lap.

She's so surprised at the sudden change of position that she loses control of the kiss and Barry takes over. His mouth moving against hers fiercely like he's trying to convince her that he's here, that he's not leaving again and maybe he's trying to convince himself that she's real, that they are real. And she's most definitely not complaining. One hand glides up her back finger tips brushing along her bare skin sending a shiver down her spine before they tangle in her hair.

Air becoming an issue but she doesn't want to stop. She can't get enough of him, especially when he takes her upper lip between his sucking on it lightly. She wants to get closer, needs to get closer. Just as she's about to climb in his lap because screw it he pulls his mouth from hers and she whimpers at the loss.

One hand cups her cheek thumb rubbing along her bottom lip and he just smiles at her and she smiles back. And she can see how happy he is. And it's because of _her._ And that makes her ridiculously happy. Because he does the same for her.

"I love you."

"I love you."

And then before she knows it he's pulling her into his lap and his arms wind around her holding her oh so tightly and buries her face in his neck. And she knows why he's doing this. Reassuring himself that this is real, that she's real. And because it's been a tough couple of days for him, for all of them really and he needs the comfort and honestly so does she. So she hugs him back just as tightly fingers curling into his jacket and she doesn't dare let go until he's ready.

He let's out a content sigh and she rubs his back letting him know that she's here that she's not going anywhere.

She's not sure how long they stay in each other's arms but it's when she shivers and realizes that it's getting cold and that even Barry isn't enough to keep her warm right now.

He laughs quietly and pulls away and she's even colder. "Let's go inside."

She nods. He gets to his feet first and holds out a hand to her and she takes it letting him pull her to her feet. For a moment neither of them move and he leans down to kiss her softly once before guiding her to the door his hand warm and steady on her back.

And that's when she realizes that yes things aren't going to be easy, but she doesn't give a damn because she has Barry and she knows that things will always be better with him at her side. And she knows he needs her just as much.

Before opening the door Barry pauses noticing that she's lost deep in thought. He gives her a questioning look and she just smiles at him gently. She squeezes his hand as if it say, _we're going to be okay._ He squeezes back. _I know._

Everything is going to be okay.

 


	4. Riding Through the Heart of the Dark That You Fought Like a Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Drawing her knees to her chest she wraps her arms around them and keeps her eyes on Wally. She vows to watch over him, to keep him safe. She's not leaving him. When he wakes up she'll be right here to help him."
> 
> What happens after Iris knocks out Wally? A little scene in which Joe and Barry find Iris sitting next to Wally. Mostly Iris-centric, but still Westallen. Set during 3x06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to update this. This season is giving us a lot of Westallen and yet I haven't been able to find inspiration to write something. 
> 
> So here we go this is an added scene to 3x06 after Iris punches Wally. It's probably a little out of place for the timeline of the episode, but oh well. 
> 
> This is one is a little on the dark side and of course is angsty. Iris might be a little out of character, but I like exploring her darker side. 
> 
> Title taken from the song Driving Through A Dream by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

_Stay out of my way._

She doesn't know what happens next exactly. It's like her body is reacting on it's own and her mind has yet to catch up. She thinks her mind is still in that cell with Wally curled up in a ball. Before she can stop herself she's running to catch up with him and he spins around to face her, hatred and fury on his face, nothing that makes him her brother.

When he swings wildly at her she's glad her body is ahead of her mind, because she ducks down in time to avoid it. It wasn't well placed or anything, but he still would have made contact. And then before she can think better of it her fingers form a fist and she's reaching back and with all her might her fist connects with his cheek sending him to the ground.

Her hand throbs slightly, but she doesn't pay it any mind she can't really feel it anyway. She pushes her hair back from her face and stares down at her brother sprawled out on the ground, knocked out cold.

She drops to her knees next to him and just like that her mind finally catches up with her.

_Oh god. Oh god. What have I done?_

_What you had to do,_ a voice in her head answers.

And she knows that's true. She had no choice. There was no fucking way she was going to let Wally go find Alchemy without putting up a fight. But god, he had tried to hurt her first. Her own brother and pushed her against the wall and told her stay out of his way. Her own brother tried to hit her. Deep down she knows it wasn't him, that if Alchemy wasn't influencing him he would never, ever harm her like that. But it was _him._ It was his body, it was his face and she can't shake that.

Drawing her knees to her chest she wraps her arms around them and keeps her eyes on Wally. She vows to watch over him, to keep him safe. She's not leaving him. When he wakes up she'll be right here to help him. The smart thing would be to get him back into his cell, but now she's physically and mentally exhausted, she doesn't think she would be able to. And for now he's not waking up. She'll be okay.

That's how Barry and her dad find her. Sitting next to her brother. Her ears barely register the sounds of them running and yelling her name. But she can't seem to find it in herself to answer, at this point she doesn't care about worrying them. They must know she's okay, they would have checked the security footage. Or maybe not. Or maybe they just saw Wally on the ground and her sitting next to him. Either way she doesn't want to answer.

"What the hell happened?" Her dad asks as they enter the pipeline and they both next to her.

She keeps silent and hugs herself tighter. All she wants is for them to leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk about it. She wants them to figure out what the hell they can do to help Wally. Because he is what matters right now, not her.

It was stupid, she knows it was, letting him out of his cell like that. And this is all her fault. If she would have just left him in there, they would be fine. But she couldn't just stand by and watch him in so much pain, she doesn't think she's ever felt so helpless in her life. She had to do something, she needed to comfort and reassure him. And now he was unconscious because of her and there's still nothing she can do to help him. She's useless and she hates it.

"Give me a hand, Barry," she hears her dad say, but there's still a roaring in her ears. She still sees the look in Wally's eyes when he turned to face her, when he swung at her. She doesn't think that image will leave her anytime soon.

Then she realizes what they're doing. They're moving him back into his cell. She wants to scream at them to leave Wally where he is, that he can't go back in there. But she's frozen in place, she can't move. If he goes back in there she can't help him. If he goes back in there he'll be in pain. Why can't she tell them to stop?

 _Leave him alone!_ She screams in her head.

This time Barry crouches down in front of her, she avoids his eyes, looking at the spot where Wally had been. Her dad stands off to the side watching her. She can't look at either of them. She doesn't want them to see how pathetic she's feeling, how lost she is. She doesn't want their pity, doesn't want them to feel sorry for her, to tell her it will all be okay. Because it won't be. How can it be?

"Iris," his voice is gentle and calming just how she likes it. But right now it's not going to make her feel better. His hand lands on her arm, his touch is light, almost barely there, regardless of that she flinches away. She doesn't see the surprise in eyes but she knows it's there.

All she can feel is Wally's hands on her arms in a bruising grip pushing her against the wall. In that moment she had been frozen in fear, she didn't know what he was going to do. He could have done anything and she wouldn't have been able to stop him. But he didn't. He let go of her and he tried to leave.

"Iris," Barry tries again this time not touching her even though she knows he wants to. "What happened?"

Part of her wants to remain silent. But she knows they'll try to pry it out of her, that they won't stop until she gives them an answer and honestly she just wants them to go away. She just wants to be alone. She wants to watch over her brother and be there when he wakes up. All she wants is a glimpse that he's still in there somewhere that she hasn't completely lost him yet.

She opens her mouth to tell them, but no words come out. Barry doesn't push her and she's thankful for that. Closing her eyes she takes a few deep breaths.

Keeping her eyes closed she tells them. "I let him out." She says it in such a matter of fact tone practically without any emotion and it's the opposite of what she's feeling. But she can't let them know that. She can't be weak right now. The sooner she tells them the sooner they leaves. And maybe if she can fake that she's okay they'll leave her alone even though she's so far from okay right now.

"Why the hell would you do that?" It's her dad that asks that.

Barry shoots him a glare. "Why did you let him out?"

He's still being gentle with her and careful. Like he's speaking to a child, like he knows she's close to breaking. And she is. She's barely holding it together.

She chooses not to answer. They won't understand. They weren't there. They left her alone and she was the only one there, they-

"It doesn't matter," she says flatly. She doesn't want to discuss this further. "I'm fine."

They both look at her like she's crazy, likes she's the one who's possessed. But on the inside she's unraveling and she's just trying to reign it in, just trying to hold on a little longer. Because if they ask her again she's sure she'll say something she'll regret, something hurtful and she really doesn't want to do that.

Of course her dad tries to push it more. And really she gets that he wants to know what happened. One of his kids knocked out the other. She knows he's concerned for both of them, she just wishes he would stop.

"It does matter. Iris, he was safe in there. He-"

"You weren't there," she whispers to herself.

"What?" Barry prods.

She raises her head up and suddenly she's done holding back. Something inside her snaps and she gets to her feet and steps right up to her father.

"You weren't there!" she screams throwing her hands in the air. "Neither of you were there. I was! You didn't hear him screaming in pain, you didn't see him on the ground clutching his head. You weren't the one standing on the other side helpless. I was! I was the only one there and I-I I couldn't do- I-I had to do something, he was- he-"

She trails off, her voice quieter and she lost in a memory again, she feels Barry place a hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon," he says and makes a move to guide her out of the pipeline.

"Let go of me," she growls wrenching her arm from his grip. She walks towards Wally's cell. He's still out and she's thankful for that. He doesn't have to hear any of this. And she hopes he's not dreaming that he's safe right now. "I'm not going anywhere."

She won't leave him. Not now.

"Iris-"

"No."

She doesn't care that she's being a petulant child right now. She'll fight both of them if she has to.

"Alright that's it."

She doesn't see Barry come up behind her and wrap his arms around her from behind. She fights against him but he has her in an unbreakable hold and she can't get him to let go.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" but he ignores her as she screams at him and drags her out of the room kicking and screaming.

Once out in the hallway he sets her down and she turns to face him. Glaring at him she shoves his chest and he stumbles backward slightly. Suddenly everything she's buried down for the last couple of months comes to the surface. Everything she's been feeling today, it comes to a head.

"I hate you! This is all your fault. If you hadn't decided to go and save your mother none of this would have happened. Wally would be safe! We-we- you didn't give me a chance to help you. I could've- I would've helped you, Barry. But you went and fucked everything up. I hope it was worth it. I hope having your parents again was worth it. You could have stayed there. You could have your perfect life. With your perfect family and your perfect Iris. But no, you didn't give a damn about the rest of us. I could have a loving relationship with my father, Cisco could have had his brother. And now- now I've tried - I've tried so fucking hard to move past it, to forgive you. But I haven't. I've just hid it really well. I buried it down in hope that it wouldn't matter, that we could be happy. And dammit, Barry I'm falling in love with you! You make me happy and it's your fault. I hate you-I-"

She breaks off breathing heavily and meets his eyes and all she sees is guilt and is that love? But she can't find it in herself to apologize at the moment. And soon once what she says catches up with her, she will. Because it was harsh and cruel and she should have never said any of it, never let it fester this long.

"I hate you," she mutters pathetically.

He steps closer to her and she attempts to push him away only this time it's much weaker and she feels the fight draining out of her and the tears blur her vision. His hands grab her wrists holding both of her hands to his chest. She tries to break free, but it's weak and he just holds them in place.

"Iris."

It's all he has to say. Say her name in that low comforting tone and she falls apart. A sob tearing from her throat as he gathers her into his arms. Her legs feel weak and she thinks they'll give out at any moment. Thankfully Barry carefully lowers them to the ground and into his lap and she burrows into his chest trying to get as close to him as possible as he softly shushes her and rubs her back. He keeps her head pressed against his chest not saying anything as she cries holding her tighter his body absorbing her trembling.

Barry remains silent even after her sobs stop and she's taking in shaky breath trying to calm herself. She focuses on his warm hand rubbing her back and how safe she feels right now. She focuses on Barry surrounding her with his warmth and love. And she knows she needs to apologize to him and maybe he deserved some of what she said, but not in the hurtful way she screamed at him.

She's still not ready to look him in the eyes and she's not ready to move from his arms. Loosening her grip on him she moves her hands so that her fingers start playing with a button on his shirt. It's weirdly calming as she gathers the courage to look at him.

"Barry," she says her voice hoarse from crying so much. "I'm so sorry. I never should've said any of that. It's not your fault and I don't hate you. I-"

"Stop," he commands in a firm but gentle voice. "You were right. About a lot of things. But this is my fault. And I'm going to do everything I can to try and help Wally."

"I know," she tells him quietly. She knows he'll do everything he can, but he can't promise it will be okay. "I think we're gonna have to talk when all this is over." She ducks her head down shyly.

"Yeah."

Silence falls over them and she continues to play with the button. Eventually she realizes they can't stay like this any longer. As much as she likes being alone with Barry like this it's time to face the real world. They need to go talk to the others and figure out something. Sighing she looks at him and he nods.

He stands first and holds out his hands to her and she takes them and he pulls her to his feet.

"Can you give me a minute?" she asks.

"Yeah of course." She nods in thanks. "You gonna be okay?"

"I thinks so."

Really she has no idea. She feels better now, but if things with Wally get worse she doesn't know what will happen, how she'll react.

"Hey," he tips her chin up, the corner of his mouth turning up in a half-smile. "I give a damn about you."

She cracks a smile. And she knows he does. Then he kisses her forehead as if to reaffirm that statement and then after squeezing her hand he leaves her alone to pull herself together.


	5. Would You Lie with Me and Just Forget the World?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris makes sure she's the first thing Barry sees when he wakes up. 
> 
> The morning after. Set after 3x09. Something short and cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something short that I came up with. 
> 
> Title taken from the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

When she wakes up in the morning it takes her a moment to realize where she is. And then she smiles as she remembers last night. The way Barry surprised her with this place and how she had felt her gift was so inadequate in comparison. But it didn't matter because he had done this for them, because he loves her and she loves him. And it was perfect.

After her coat had dropped to the floor and his hands grazed her skin she proceeded to push his coat of his shoulders and they somehow made their way to the bedroom (which already had a bed in it) shedding layers of clothing on the way as they tripped and stumbled. She had teased him about the bed and his assumption that this was going to happen and he had just blushed a little and smirked and resumed kissing her making her forget everything including her own name.

Now she lays in bed with Barry wrapped around her, arm around her waist, face pressed against her hair. She could get used to this. Briefly she thinks about what happened in the middle of the night. How he had woken up with a start, breathing harshly and the way he had clung to her pulling her back tightly to his chest and burying his face in her shoulder. She didn't know what to do so she pretended to be asleep, but she waited until his breathing returned to normal before she even thought about going back to sleep. It had scared her and she told herself she would ask him about some other time. Not now, because it would ruin this present and Christmas. She knows that if it happens again she'll have to confront him. But for now she's going to enjoy this.

Rolling over she rests her head on his chest and stares at the window. It's snowing. Real snow this time, not created by Caitlin. And here she is naked and warm in bed with Barry. It's perfect and everything she's ever wanted.

When Barry stirs she adjusts so her face is near his, remembering what he said last night. 

_You're the first thing I wanna see when I wake up and the last thing I-_

She had cut him off with a kiss because she didn't need to hear anymore. But now she decides that she is going to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. So she watches as he mumbles incoherently and tightens his grip on her as his eyes open. At first he doesn't seem to register that she's next to him but after he blinks a couple of times and stares down at her a grin stretches on his face at the sight of her.

"Hey."

"Hey."

And they're grinning at each other like idiots. And it just feels so right to be waking up next to Barry like this, so right and natural. Still smiling she reaches out and touches his face fingers tracing the lines of his face like he had done last night. Under her touch she feels his smile fade as his face turns serious and she starts to worry.

"What?"

"You're not rethinking this are you? Because I know I made this decision without you. And if you don't want to live here, you don't have to, you can-"

And just like last night she interrupts him with a kiss. A kiss she means to be chaste and reassuring but ends with her coaxing his mouth open and with them lazily kissing in their new bed. When they part she smiles up at him.

"Barry, I want this. I love you. And the thing is it doesn't matter where we are because _you_ are my home."

And just like his smile returns, the corners of his mouth pulling up and he looks at her with love and amazement. 

"You're my home too."

Then he kisses her deeply and passionately rolling her under him and they spend the morning in bed as it snows outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I can write fluff! Okay so maybe there was a touch of angst, apparently I can't resist. But I can write fluff! I think....
> 
> Also, I'm working on an M rated fic that would take place right after the episode ends and would be a companion piece to this one, only I think I will post it separately from this story. So look for that as well as at least one more post 3x09 fic in this story to come.


	6. Without You I Don't Have a Place That's Safe From All the Monsters That Hide in My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It’s not his own nightmare that wakes him tonight, it’s hers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Yay for new episodes that I think will (hopefully) give me more inspiration to write and update this fic more frequently. 
> 
> Anyway, this one takes place after the housewarming part at the end of 3x10. 
> 
> Hopefully the ending doesn't seem to rushed, but I didn't know how else to end it. 
> 
> As always I apologize for any mistakes. 
> 
> Title taken from the song Last Straw, AZ by Jack's Mannequin. I was listening to it this morning and the line stuck out to me and it kind of fits with this story. But I also like how it sounds. 
> 
> Enjoy, and please comment!

It's not his own nightmare that wakes him tonight, it's hers. Her sudden jerking awake, her scream. His eyes open immediately fearing the worst and he's alert searching the room for any danger, but then his eyes fall on her. Laying as still as possible hand over her heart staring up at the ceiling.

For a moment he doesn't know what to do. His instincts tell him to reach out to her and touch her. And maybe it's because he wants to reassure her or maybe himself, but he needs to touch her, a hand on her arm or face, but really he just wants to take her in his arms and never let go.

But he doesn't. He doesn't want to scare her because he knows she's just like him and she won't want to worry him. That's why she's lying still and he wonders if she knows he's awake. Suddenly he gets it. Gets why she was so worried and he wishes he would have told her sooner, wishes he would have talked to her about his nightmares. But at the same time they've been so happy the last month and he didn't want to ruin it.

"Iris."

She turns her head to face him and plasters a smile on her face. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

It's not lost on either of them that it echoes his words from the other night. And just like her he's not going to let it go. She's holding his gaze trying to stay strong, but he can see the wobble in her smile and the shaking of her hands, he can see the cracks forming.

And because he knows she really doesn't want attention drawn to the fact that she is far from okay right now he starts talking. "I get it," he tells her in a slow, low voice that he hopes is comforting. "The nightmares feel so real and they leave you with this paralyzing fear that it's really happened and even when you first wake you're not sure what's real or not and it's terrifying. But it helps having someone next to you when you wake up, having someone there to reassure you it's not real, that you're okay. That they're okay." He looks her directly in the eye and smiles softly, hoping she catches what he's trying to tell her. He reaches out slowly and places his hand on her cheek rubbing his thumb soothingly across her skin.

He sees the second her resolve crumbles. At the third pass of his thumb along her cheek, when her gaze wavers and her smile fades and tremors run through her body. " _Barry."_ it comes out as a choked sob and she looks at him dark eyes wide with fear, lips trembling and he feels his heart breaking in his chest. This woman, this woman he loves with his entire being doesn't deserve any of this. She's been through too much and now she has an expiration date on her. And he knows it's his job not only to protect her and save her, but to remind her that she's not alone, to hold her together as best as he can. To be there for her like she has been for him ever since they first met.

"Come here."

She doesn't resist, crawling into his arms and holding on with all of her might, burrowing into his chest and he wraps his arm around her trying to surround her with his safety, with his comfort. He strokes her hair. "Shh, I'm right here with you. I'm right here. _You're_ here. I've got you." He repeats it over and over as she cries and he doesn't let go, he doesn't want to let go, feeling that she's safest in his arms and he won't allow anything to touch her.

His body absorbs her shudders and he lets her tears wet his skin. Even when the tears stop and she's sniffling he kisses the top of her head and keeps his hold on her. And sure enough after a few minutes another sob escapes and this time he stays silent and she lets it all out.

"How does it happen?" she asks, voice muffled against his chest. The sobs have stopped again and her voice is scratchy.

"What?"

"How does he murder me?"

The question catches him off guard. "Iris," his voice hitches in his throat. It's easy when he's just thinking about her for him to be the strong one, but when he has to think about seeing her murdered, it's much, much harder. And god he doesn't want to tell her, but she's asking and he doesn't want to hide it from her.

"He stabs you," he answers quietly. "He's behind you and he stabs you through the back with his blade and I'm too slow to get to you and by the time I do you're already dead."

She's silent for a moment and he struggles not to think about the image of her dead body hanging limply from his arms as future him calls her name trying to get her to answer him. He tries to focus on her right now, alive and breathing in his arms. So he holds her just a little tighter and she doesn't complain just rubs her nose against his chest and holds him back.

"I'm scared, Barry. I don't want to die."

And it's like he's the one being stabbed through the heart. He feels his own tears burning in his eyes at her words. But he fights it, fights it to be strong for her. He can't lose it right now, maybe later when he's alone, but not right now when she needs him.

Once he regains his composure he speaks again. "But that's not going to happen," he tells her. "I won't let it. You're not going to die."

"Barry…"

"I'm not giving up on you, Iris. I will try everything I can to keep you safe, to keep you from dying," he tells her.

"Okay," she nods and he's not sure if she believes him or not and he's okay with that. She just received life changing news and he doesn't blame her for doubting him. He doesn't need her to believe him he just needs her to know that he's not going to stop trying, needs her to know just how much he loves her, how much he needs her in his life. That she's his world, his everything.

"I know you don't need me telling you what to do, but it's okay not be strong, it's okay if you want to cry, it's okay if you want to be angry, or anything else. I'm not going to judge you, I'm not going to think you're weak. It's okay to put your feelings first. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here every step of the way, whatever you need."

"Okay," she agrees again but this time her voice is stronger, but he can also hear it in her tone that she doesn't want him to push it any farther.

He kisses the top of her head, resting his forehead against her. "Do you want to try and go back to sleep?"

"No!" she refutes louder than he expected and she shakes her head against him.

"Okay, that's okay," he reassures her sensing her panic and runs his palm down her back to calm her. And when she relaxes against him he asks, "What do you want?"

"Can you- can you just hold me like this and stay awake with me?" her voice sounds so small, so much like a scared child.

He smiles. "Of course."

They settle into a more comfortable position, him on his back and with her practically on top of him his arms keeping her in place. He pulls the blankets over them and continues to rub her back. "I love you," he whispers into her hair and he feels her smiles into his chest.

And he holds her.


	7. I'd Rather be Anything but Ordinary (Anything to Make Me Feel Alive)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " 'I need to feel alive," her lips brush against his as she speaks, "make me feel alive." Because he's the only one who can, he's the only the one who makes her feel alive."
> 
> Post 3x11 smut. Iris struggles with wanting to leave a mark on the world and the fact that she could've died and she needs Barry's help to feel alive. 
> 
> Rated M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of got away from me. Originally, I wasn't planning on them actually having sex, but then I changed my mind because it felt right. So here it is. Also, inspired by a few comments I saw on tumblr about Barry referring to Wally as a Francine's "brave, wonderful son" and Iris as the woman he loves, and how that might not be what she wanted to hear. 
> 
> Takes place at the end of 3x11 right after the episode ends. As usual it contains angst, and some fluff and of course smut. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, that I will try and fix if I catch them later. 
> 
> Title taken from Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne. 
> 
> Enjoy! And please let me know what you think!

She breaks the kiss after a few seconds and she can sense his surprise, but her smile is already fading and she doesn't want him to see. Her eyes drop along with her hands to her lap. His eyes are burning holes into her and he knows something's wrong and she wishes for once that he didn't know her so well.

"Iris?"

But she doesn't hear him, or she chooses not to.

_A brave, wonderful son and the woman that I love. A brave, wonderful son and the woman that I love. A brave, wonderful son and the woman that I-_

"Iris? Babe?" This time his voice breaks through the words that are circling through her head and driving her crazy.

Earlier when he said them she had been emotional and in no state to question him or his words. He comforted her, reassured her and that was what she needed at the time. But now his words won't leave her alone and they don't sit quite right with her. She knows he means well, knows he thought he was making it better. But still it makes her uneasy and upset.

"Iris?"

By this point she realizes she should probably answer him before she really starts to worry him, because she can hear the concern in his tone, he's trying to hide it but it's there loud and clear to her. She doesn't have to tell him, she could let it go and let them be happy and have this moment. But she knows that if she ignores it, it will fester and she'll end up yelling at him and make it worse. And she can't do that. They need each other right now.

Here goes nothing.

She raises her eyes to meet his and twists her fingers together in her lap, anxiety creeping in. She focuses on his hand on her thigh, comforting and so warm she can feel through it through her jeans.

Taking a deep breath she counts to ten and goes for it.

"Earlier, you - you said - when I said I wanted to leave something behind you said my mom left behind a brave and wonderful son and the woman you love." She stops to lick her lips nervously and he nods confusion etched on his face, but lets her continue. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Why does Wally get to brave and wonderful and I the woman you love? I don't just want to be the woman you love, Barry. I want to be more than that! I want to be more than someone's daughter or sister or friend. I - I just want to be more. I just want to matter."

"Oh Iris," he breathes out and his fingers are tipping her chin up and she reluctantly looks at him. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're anything less than you are." Then he smiles at her, no, beams at her, cupping her cheek and she can't help but lean into his touch. "Because you are brave, the bravest person I know. You've jumped from buildings, you've gone up against metas and criminals even though you don't have any powers. You are smart and you have a kind heart. You care so much about people and you just want to help. And you do, you help people. You're an amazing journalist and you'll just get even better, Pulitzer worthy I'd say. And you're stubborn as hell," he grins at her and she grins back. "You're headstrong and can be a little reckless, but you can handle anything that comes your way. You leave a mark on everyone you meet. And I promise that if - if," he stops his voice thick with emotion and then looks her straight in the eyes with nothing but sincerity, "if something happens to you I will make sure the whole world knows just how amazing you are."

Tears spill over and he catches them with his thumbs and she can't find any words right now. Sometimes she hates his ability to make these beautiful speeches that make her feel warm all over and make her love him even more. Because he always knows what to say to make her feel better and every single word is sincere.

And oh god it hits her just how close she came to losing all of this, to _dying._ She could've died. If Wally hadn't come in when he did - what the fuck had she been thinking? Okay, she knows what she was thinking, she needed to make a difference, to do something important like take down an arms dealer and leave her mark on the world. And she had felt invincible, thought she wouldn't die because she's not supposed to die for another few months. She had walked straight up to the gun, it had been pressed to her chest. She could've died.

Suddenly it's all she can feel. The gun heavy against her chest, hard and threatening and dangerous. She needs to feel something else, she needs it go away.

With a sob passing through her lips and tears streaming down her face and her breath coming out in short bursts she yanks her shirt over head and throws it somewhere behind her. Barry's eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise at her sudden actions. Ignoring his reaction she grabs his hand and brings it to her chest between her breasts, placing his palm flat against her where the gun had been and her heart races under his touch.

"I had a gun to my chest, Barry. Right here." She presses his hand harder against her as if to emphasize her point or in attempt to forget the feeling. "Fuck, I walked right into it. I wasn't thinking. I could've died. And I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready."

He swallows and she sees the moment he realizes just how close he came to losing her. Closing her eyes she places her hand over his. "It's still beating," she whispers. And she's not sure if she's reassuring him or herself, or maybe both, that she's still here.

Then she leans in and kisses him, a simple, chaste lingering kiss.

"I need to feel alive," her lips brush against his as she speaks, "make me feel alive." Because he's the only one who can, he's the only the one who makes her feel alive.

The words barely leave her lips before his hands are on her face and his mouth is on hers. He kisses her with care at first, tenderly, his lips brushing hers softly as hers move with his. And then his hands are tilting her head to the side and his tongue is running along her lower lip, teasing her before disappearing. She lets out a small groan in annoyance at the loss of his mouth, wanting nothing more than for him to deepen the kiss and to stop teasing her. Then he has audacity to chuckle at her frustration.

Just as she decides that she's just going to have to do this herself to get what she wants his hands grasp her hips and pull her completely onto his lap so that her body is flush against his. One hand settles back on her leg, thumb rubbing circles on her inner thigh. And then his tongue traces the seam of her lips again and she eagerly opens up to him, desperate for more. He still controls the kiss (and she doesn't mind) not when he's kissing her like this, with urgency and determination and precision knowing exactly how to drive her crazy. His touch sends jolts of electricity through her body, from head to toe and she feels his love for her.

His mouth devours hers and she kisses him like she's drowning and he's her only chance of surviving, which in a way is completely accurate. Lost in the kiss she lets herself go, stops thinking and lets herself feel.

Her hands slide under his shirt to touch him, to feel his skin under her hands and then she's lifting his fabric up and they separate for only a second so that together they can remove his shirt. And once it's flung across the room she grabs his face and crashes their lips together once again and he's sucking on her upper lip, pulling a gasp from her and she moves her hands to his back, digging her nails into his skin.

The kiss becomes downright messy and he kisses her hotly and deeply, losing the control and precision from earlier and she's returning the favor, tangling her tongue with his, tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth and swallowing his moans. Hands begin to roam and his find the clasp of her bra only fumbling with it for a second, she won't tease him since she knows he's usually pretty fast, she thinks it might be because she's distracting him with her own hands as they skim down his chest, lower and lower. Regardless she's now bare from the waist up as is he and she leans in closer, both of them groaning as her nipples brush against him.

Grabbing a hold of her waist and making good use of his powers he has her on her back, head against one of the pillows before she even realizes it. But she doesn't care she just pulls him down so his body can cover hers, so she can feel him pressed against her everywhere, his weight comforting. And fuck does that feel good. Every inch of him touching every inch of her. Finally, she's beginning to feel normal, feel alive, feel like herself.

He pulls his mouth away and she chases after him, desperately wanting him to return, whining a little when he doesn't. She sees the the corner of his lips raise in a smirk, but then his lips are leaving little wet, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, nipping lightly at her skin. And she arches up into him stretching her neck and turning to the side to give him better access. She's stopped caring about being quiet, letting out moans and loud sighs as he teases her skin with his teeth, tongue, and mouth.

He continues his path down to her chest and then he pauses momentarily before placing a light kiss to her heartbeat and she sucks in a breath and feels tears stinging in her eyes at the gesture, but he's not done. He moves to the spot where she had placed his hand earlier, the spot where the feeling of the weight of the gun has been fading with every kiss and touch and now is almost non-existent and kisses her skin, gently biting, enough to leave a mark. A reminder that she's still here, and he's right here with her.

Threading her fingers into his hair she pulls his head up so she can kiss him. Licking her way into his mouth, moving in sync with him. His hands drift down to her leggings, fingers tugging at the waistband. Never removing her mouth from his she raises her hips and together they drag her leggings down her legs.

He runs his fingers up her legs, along her inner thigh getting dangerously close to where she now desperately wants his touch, but never actually going there. He toys with the band of her underwear, thumbs dipping just inside of them stroking her skin and she can't help but jerk her hips upward into him, into his touch. He smirks into the kiss, sucking at her bottom lip and his fingers brush her ever so slightly through her now wet underwear and then the last barrier between her and his fingers is gone.

One of his fingers traces her slit and she can't help but cry out at the sudden contact. He does it once, twice, and on the third pass he brushes his thumb against her her clit and she lifts her hips letting him know she needs more. More than just the fleeting touch of his fingers, so frantically she reaches out and fumbles with his belt, unbuckling it with trembling hands. The hand on her freezes and she decides to use it to her advantage. In retaliation for his teasing she brushes her hand against the bulge in his pants.

"Iris," he groans against her lips and she just grins and does it again.

But then she takes mercy on him and she's impatient herself, wanting him inside of her _now._ So she quickly yanks down his zipper and he takes over from there getting his pants and boxers off as fast as he can, he even manages to pull out a condom and roll it on. She's never been more thankful for his powers than she is now.

She grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him down into the cradle of her hips where he fits perfectly. His hard length presses into where she's aching for him and they both let out a moan at the sensation. Quickly she wraps her legs around his waist and he braces himself on his arms on either side of her head, their chests are pressed together and she can feel his heart pounding against her.

He lines himself up at her entrance, but goes no further. Instead he rests his forehead on hers, breath mingling with hers, lips only centimeters away, she could easily tilt her chin up and press her lips to his, but she doesn't. Instead she locks eyes with him and he's looking at her with her heat and desire and love.

"I've got you," he whispers. "You're here and I'm right here with you. You're _alive."_

He brushes his lips against hers in a soft loving kiss and then he's slowly entering her and she moans at the feeling of him filling her completely, stretching her, making her feel whole in only the way he can. Once he's fully inside her he lays still for moment and they both breathe out. But soon it becomes unbearable and she rolls her hips, sighing at the feeling and thankfully he gets the hint and slowly starts to move.

He feel so fucking _good,_ she can't quite believe that no matter how many times they have sex that she can feel this way, that _he_ makes her feel this way. And she's surrounded by him, consumed by him in the best way possible. Her eyes flutter shut as she moves in time with him, meeting every downward thrust with a raise of her hips. It's slow, excruciatingly so.

"Iris," his voice breaks through her pleasure filled haze and it's low and rough and incredibly sexy sounding. "Look at me."

She opens her eyes at his gentle command just in time to see his darkened green eyes entirely focused on her before he slams back into her she's crying out, _Barry,_ throwing her head back, clawing at his back. He picks up the pace, going slightly faster each time he thrusts back into her. Hitting her just right. She fights to keep her eyes open, but his hold her in place and she just can't look away as he watches her come undone.

"Yes, _yes,_ right there, oh god, _oh_ fuck! Barry, faster, fuck me harder, please!"

He listens, pounding into her drawing moans and cries from her lips. But then his are arms winding around her bringing her into his lap. She whimpers at the new angle clutching at his back and he's stops for a moment as he tenderly brushes some damp hair away from her face. Then his hand travels down to where they are joined and his thumb rubs against her clit and she hides her face in his neck. And then he's fucking her hard and fast and she's fucking him right back, unrelentlessly, mouthing at his neck, teeth tugging at his skin, kissing her way up to his ear so she can pull at his earlobe.

" _Fuck,_ Iris," he groans and she squeezes herself around him, rolling her her hips just right. "You feel so good."

She can feel him start to lose control, the slight stutter to his movements as he becomes wilder and wilder. And she's close too, oh so close, and she feels the pressure building and it's driving her mad. Suddenly his thumb is vibrating on her clit, rubbing circles and her mouth falls open in a soundless cry.

He brings her to the precipice, their foreheads resting together, breathing in and out in time. She knows he's almost there, right there with her. She clenches around him and he says her name in a breathy moan and thrusts back unto her one more time sending them both tumbling right over the edge, clinging to each other as they hold on for dear life.

They just hold each other for a few minutes as they come down from their high. Her breath still coming out in a rush as she rests her head on his shoulder and his hand rubs her back, fingers trailing up and down her spine, his own breath ruffling her hair. There's a calmness inside her now that wasn't there before. She no longers feel the unwelcome weight on her chest. Here in Barry's arms she feels at peace.

He kisses her softly on the side of the head before murmuring in her ear, "You're alive. You matter."

She smiles into his neck and holds him just a little tighter, she's beginning to think that he's right. She, Iris West, Matters.


End file.
